Reining in the Gossip: The Toxic Trend No One Wants to Admit
To my fellow equine professionals:
We’re all in this industry for one reason — the horse. That passion is what pushed us to turn long hours, calloused hands, and relentless learning into a business that pays the bills and feeds not only our families, but our own horses too.
But here’s the hard truth: when we see another pro landing our dream client or reaching goals we want for ourselves, envy can creep in. Suddenly, instead of focusing on our own path, we start competing sideways — trying to one-up them, discredit them, or worse, sling mud at someone who shares the same mission we do: serving the horse.
The Reality
In saying things like:
• “Oh, she only knows barrel racing — that’s not real horsemanship.”
• “You don’t want to ride with them, they won’t get you where you need to be.”
• “Yeah, he calls himself a professional, but he doesn’t even show at any big events.”
• “If you board there, your horse will never get fed properly.”
…we undermine, we question competence, we discredit professionalism, and we fuel gossip.
I’ve personally been on the receiving end of people taking skills, methods, and ideas they learned from me (or another professional), passing them off as their own, or even giving credit to someone else while dismissing the very person they learned from. I know many of you have felt that sting, too. It hurts.
Still, I count it a blessing that I’ve been able to tap into my calling and pursue my dreams as an equine entrepreneur — even while losing clients to people who never gave me the time of day, including some I had once referred business to myself.
What I’m seeing now, though, is discouraging: professionals banding together in cliques like high schoolers. Support that’s conditional. Burnout fueled by petty antics. People tearing down others for being different when that very difference is what makes our industry thrive. After all, if we were all the same, anyone could just go to any trainer, body worker, or hoof care provider and get the exact same thing.
The Ripple Effect of Negativity
When we continue down this path, we’re not just tearing each other down — we’re discouraging positive interest in the equine industry and rewarding the negative.
We are all forever students of the horse. Yet this kind of behavior shows that somewhere along the way, we stopped learning from each other in order to get ahead.
Think back to when you were young and eager, diving into your chosen discipline with unstoppable excitement. Would you have still been inspired if all you heard was gossip about who wasn’t doing their job? Or were you more motivated by encouragement and guidance?
What about when you first started your business? How would it have felt to hear:
• “So-and-so already does that in your area — you’ll never make it.”
• “I’d never pay someone to rub all over my horse. I can do that myself.”
Comments like these don’t just sting — they can crush the spirit of someone just starting out.
And think back to the moment you first dreamed of having your own horse. Imagine if the very person who gave you your start had told you not to bother. Would you even be here today?
This kind of petty, derogatory behavior is why horse lovers — and even professionals — opt out. Some walk away from the horse world altogether. Some walk away from life itself. Many suffer silently, weighed down by the constant negativity and unable to move past the words spoken against them. And when the people who cared the most are no longer here, it isn’t just us who suffers — it’s the horses. The very beings we claimed to serve from the start.
When we meet other professionals with negativity, we lose sight of being true students of the horse. We block collaboration, shut down creativity, and limit the chance to build whole-horse teams that could blaze new, healthier trails together.
Why It Happens
So why does all this negativity happen?
• Jealousy when someone else progresses faster.
• Insecurities about one’s own program or offerings.
• Fear of losing long-term clients or credibility.
• Lack of maturity and professional courtesy.
• Fear of change or the unknown.
No matter the reason, it’s happening — and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not immune. I’ve been part of the negativity before. But I’ve found it’s far more refreshing, and far more fruitful, to steer clear and focus on my own growth in both life and business.
For me, that also means choosing to invest in those I trust and respect — and leaving behind the conversations, people, and circles that only drain or divide. Even when they’re brought up, I don’t need to engage.
The truth is, negativity thrives in this industry because too many believe they’re “reinventing the wheel” or taking the reins. But the wisest thing we can do is the opposite: drape the reins, step back, and let the horse in front of us remind us who’s really in control.
The Cost to the Industry
The horse community has become divided rather than united. Below is a table showing common divides, why they exist, and what the industry misses out on when we focus on differences rather than collaboration.
These divides lead to hostilities focused on who is right when the focus needs to be on the horse and the student’s feedback. (Remember: we are all students.) Talented horsemen and women are giving up because common ground can’t be found. Many seek other avenues simply to avoid the nonsense of arguments.
Ultimately, when professionals and enthusiasts compete against each other rather than working together, the horses and people who love and serve them suffer. Gate-kept knowledge and a culture of proving who’s “best” comes at a real cost: lame horses, lost owners, and overlooked talent.
Hostile Divisions Turned to Opportunities
What We Should Be Doing Instead
So, what should we be doing instead?
Encourage one another. Encouragement goes farther than criticism. Saying “I don’t think that’s what you should do” rarely helps. Instead, try: “I loved when I learned about X — would you like me to help you with that?” Get to know the professionals in your area before passing judgment. And when a client needs something outside your wheelhouse, refer them confidently.
Collaborate rather than compete. Play to each other’s strengths instead of trying to master weaknesses just to one-up someone else. Collaboration benefits the horse, the client, and your own growth.
Give credit where it’s due. There’s no shame in acknowledging someone else’s influence — even when working with their competition. If you are a referral, reflect that same respect and professionalism toward those who referred you, and live up to the expectations that come with being trusted as their recommendation. Leading by example shows respect and builds trust. Let others see that your success is built on learning, mentorship, and generosity.
Model the behavior you want to see. Want your students to continue learning? So do you. Demonstrate professionalism, encouragement, and maturity in every situation. You never know who is watching. Enjoy trying new things with the horses you work with and share those experiences positively with the community.
Be the Change Our Horses Deserve
I challenge you—as someone who influences those around you in this industry—to rise above the gossip, hostility, and negativity. Choose instead to encourage, support, and grow from the people you encounter throughout your journey. Reach out to someone you feel threatened by and get to know them before making assumptions about them.
Never forget where you came from. Horses and their people deserve stronger, kinder, and more unified professionals who work together, celebrating one another’s unique strengths and gifts to form an unstoppable team for the horse.
If you want to see owners listening to professional advice, be the one who models that teachability first. If you want to see better teamwork, be the one who learns to play to others’ strengths. Lift others up. Build bridges instead of walls.
It’s okay to disagree with another’s philosophy or approach, but you are always responsible for your own reaction to such. Leave space for understanding, plant seeds of respect, and resist the urge to sling mud or spread gossip.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Don’t know who to refer to? Take time to get to know other professionals on a personal level. Resist the temptation to compare or compete. Don’t judge the “cover” of another person’s journey—dig deeper, get involved, and be part of the community you claim to serve. Do it with ethics, with integrity, and with the horse’s well-being at the center of it all.
Final Word: Choose the Higher Road
To those who are already supporting and contributing to the ultimate whole-horse team—thank you. Thank you for seeing the bigger picture and for doing the hard, honest work. We need more people willing to stand by strong ethics and integrity. You are the heart and soul of this industry, and your perseverance is what keeps it alive.
I’m committed to pressing forward in my own work despite the negativity that often tries to get in the way. Because at the end of the day, an industry that chooses encouragement over gossip or mudslinging will always come out ahead—for both the people and the horses we serve.
So the question remains: are you here to truly help the people and horses of this industry, or are you here only to serve yourself? The answer defines not just your legacy, but the future of the horse world itself.
